Highlights From My Life
- Born with a purse in one hand and lipstick in the other (still there today
though the purse is more like a suitcase and the lipstick is red)
- 1962 - First story written in 2nd grade using spelling words; subject –
mice who drink too much and party all night long: teachers suggest
counseling
- 1965 – anxious to ‘develop’ so can purchase first bra (desperately need
a support system)
- 1972 - Took twelve English / Literature courses in senior year of high
school ; counseling offered
- 1970’s - Married; gave birth to three children; gained much material for
future use; sought counseling (need a good support system and need it
NOW!)
- 1973 - Breast size increased from 34b to 42DD during 1st pregnancy.
Doctor orders me into a breast binder. (I thought torture went out with
the Middle Ages. See 1965 – ‘be careful what you wish for’)
- 1970's - 1980's - Siblings married; more relatives = more material for
stories; suggested some of them seek counseling
- 1980’s – seek employment with pay and benefits to support my many
addictions /obsessions & neuroses
- 1990’s – Exploding under wire bra phase begins (my support system
begins to fail)
- 1992 - Diagnosed with lupus; choice of giving in or using humor to
survive; I’m still here
- 1992 - Best friend went to treatment center; desperately needed humor
to keep her spirits up; sent stories of sock eating vacuum cleaners,
petrified pets, long-lost vegetables; friend survived – writing now a part
of everyday life
- 1993 - Took first courses in creative writing ; invited by teacher to be
Treasurer of local writing group due to my skills in this area (Note: not
invited to write with or for the group)
- 1995 - Was nicknamed Lucy after Lucy Van Pelt (the nickel therapist)
from Charles Schultz’ Peanuts character
- 1995 - Began writing seriously – OOPS!! Began writing humor on a
regular basis
- 1996 - Developed strange obsession with getting up at 6 a.m. every other
Saturday to visit with nail technician and get pedicure and manicure (OH,
the price of beauty is high; see 1980 and reference to obsessions /
addictions)
- 2002 – Bras still causing problems – now with the heightened security at
airports (more trouble with the support system)
- 2003 – told by eminent Physician that all of my problems could be cured
by losing weight and purchasing a new bra (suggested he and his staff
seek counseling)
- 2003 - Joined the local Footprints group to write my life story as a legacy
for my children (that’s all they’ll get; I spent their inheritance on
counseling and bras)
- 2005 - I found out by taking Turkish lessons that I don’t translate well
and am incomplete and dead (being dead has its advantages – no more
counseling or bras)
- 2008 - Bras are still a very big part of my life. I now own approximately 3
more than the ages of my children combined. None of them are sexy.
None of them are from Victoria's Secrets. And none of them fit. I have
begun taking Arabic lessons so I can communicate with my Egyptian
friends - though I'm not sure how that will help with the current bra
situation
- 2009 - Have been experiencing a number of problems with my heart.
Abnormal EKG's, abnormal stress tests. Had all the tests including a
heart catherization. End result - breasts are too large and are causing
problems with all cardiac tests. Still writing. Still not famous.
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