Another Hole In My Head

If I had a dime for all the times I heard my mother say one of her truism. Oh wait, I think that’s one of them. If I had a dime _________ - fill in the blank. Actually I am thinking about all the times she told me or one of my siblings, ‘I need that like I need another hole in my head.’ Can I borrow that from you Mom? Just the part that says – I need another hole in my head – because I do. I really do need another hole in my head.

I’m not pondering a big hole or anything that requires surgery to install. Just one more hole in one of my already twice pierced ears, I mean ear. Seems adding another hole in my head may be the only way to wear some of the beautiful jewelry I own.

I did the first piercing of my ears when I was 16. Did it against my Dad’s rantings, ravings, and threats about marking myself or making holes in myself. He never knew and I was happy about it. If I remember correctly it was years before he knew I had done the dreaded thing and had intentionally put permanent holes in my body.

The second holes were added about the time I turned one of those dreaded ages that ends with a zero. Cut my hair and bleached it blonde then had the second earring added. The next day I went on a weekend trip with a friend to New Orleans. Came back and was to work on Monday. It was a three day mid-life crisis.

I tried a few years later to add a third hole to one ear, but it didn’t go as planned. I had some of those self-piercing earrings. I chose the spot, placed the earring, and three days later had the most interesting looking ear. Purple in spots. Red in spots. And quite infected. I removed the earring and erased all thoughts of adding another hole to my ears or head for that matter.

That was until I developed allergies. I have the most amazing collection of worthless earrings. Worthless meaning they are not gold or even sterling silver. They are unique, but unique only goes so far. My beautiful earrings, the ones made of precious metals and stones are much fewer in number, and getting fewer everyday. Once again due to allergies.

Seems I have this allergy to fine jewelry. The first time I noticed this was about the time I had the second hole added to my head. Was waiting outside the piercing emporium and noticed that one of the gold swirly aquamarine earrings given to me by my best friend was no longer in my ear. I retraced the steps I had taken in the mall including the site where my hair had been coiffed, but no luck. I was down to one gold swirly aquamarine earring. I placed it in my purse and when I got home I put it in my jewelry box.

Didn’t think much more about it until I began losing the backs to my new diamond stud earrings. Eventually one of the earrings followed the back and made an escape. The other diamond stud was placed with the gold swirly aquamarine earring in my jewelry box.

Two holes in an ear equals two earrings in an ear. Stud in the top hole, whatever in the bottom. Knowing how I have developed an allergy or penchant for losing one stud at a time, the next set of earrings to adorn my ears were diamond studs with screw on backs. That lasted not quite a year. At first it was just the backs I was losing. Most of the time I could find the missing piece but eventually we had to go begging to the jewelry store for one screw-on type back for one diamond stud. I think they knew us a bit too well, the back was easy to get.

Almost one year later the backs tried their escape routine again. I can’t tell you how many times the left one tried it, each time failing as I would find it just before it made good on its attempt. Then the right back got into the act. Again I foiled the attempts. Until one day, about a week ago, the back AND the front escaped. But only one of them made it. I now had another single gold and diamond stud to add to my collection of single earrings.

Which brings me back to needing another hole in my head. Now if I can just convince the punchers of holes that one hole should cost less than two. After all, I only have one earring to put in it. Well, make that three or four, but they are all single earrings from a former set. Guess mother was right, ‘I need another hole in my head.’

Wanda M. Argersinger

2008