Beyond Measure

Beyond Measure

I’ve got measuring sticks to measure paper. I’ve got rulers to help me change the length and shape of fabric and clothes. I have guides imbedded in most of the programs I use on my computer to make sure things line up properly. I have yard sticks, and 6 inch sticks, and things to measure centimeters and millimeters, and all other eters that can be measured. I can measure land, length, height, width, depth, distance, circumference, diameter, illumination, ph, acidity, ingredients, cups, teaspoons, tablespoons, quality, gigabytes, terabytes, grams, karats, and carats. If it can be measure I think I have a device to measure it.

I personally have had my feet measured. My waist, hips, thighs and breasts measured. I’ve been fitted for just about anything you can wear – rings, clothes, eyeglasses, acrylic nails, bracelets, necklaces, scarves, any and every type of clothing and even contact lenses. I’ve even been measured and fitted for medications. Today however, a new measurement requirement snuck up on me and has literally made me question just how far this measuring thing is going to go.

I have some of the most beautiful jewelry a woman can coax out of a limited budget. But I have pierced ears and an insane addiction to shiny things. Jewelry is a necessity. I have to say I have been one of the lucky ones when it comes to pierced ears and earrings. I can wear any earring I chose, cheap, expensive and / or completely tacky. Nothing bothers these ears except my sense of style and good taste or lack thereof.

When I get tired of any particular earring, providing that it is of the cheap variety, I either throw or give it away. If it breaks, it’s history. No worry. No regrets. Earrings of the gold or silver type are another story. If they are damaged I immediately take them to my jeweler and have them repaired. I have a gorgeous pair of large sterling silver hoops with a thingy-doo that latches into a little v-looking clasp on the back of the earring. The little thingy-doo is the part that goes through the hole in my ear. I didn’t purchase this pair of earrings, but they are a pair I would have chosen for me.

On this particular pair of earrings the little thingy-doo is not very long. To tell you the truth, I never thought about the length of thingy-doos on earrings. I assumed all earrings were a One Size Fits All sort of accessory. How wrong I was. Today is probably the 47^th time I’ve worn these earrings since they came in to my possession. I’m guessing that for the pervious 46 times, I had placed the current right earring in my left ear. I should have known my luck would not hold out. Today, the earrings were reversed.

Within in 1 hour of inserting the earring thingy-doo in my right ear something began to bother me. For the next 3 or 4 hours I kept taking the right earring out and reinserting it. I might mention, I didn’t have to do that with the left earring. But each time I reinserted it, within minutes it was bothering me again. I finally took both earrings out and looked at them. I measured them. I measure the circumference. I measured the diameter. I measured the length of each thingy-doo. They were identical.

I began to ponder the problem. If the right earring bothers me, and the left one doesn’t, and they are identical, that leaves only one part of the equation that could be causing the problem. As soon as I could find the proper measuring device and a mirror, I measured the thickness of my earlobes. Horror of horrors. My right ear lobe is 1.5 millimeter thicker than the left ear lobe. I had to improvise on my measuring device, but I can envision what I need. It would be one of those scientific measuring devices with a screw type thing on one end that closes as you turn the screw. My only problem now is when I go to purchase this device and try to explain what I’m looking for. How am I going to explain I need it to measure my ear lobes to ensure I get the proper earring?

Wanda M. Argersinger