The Conversation That Almost Happened

Sometimes things happen that make absolutely no sense. I have learned over the years not to question these things. My belief is that the answer to all things will be apparent when the time is right – and the moon and stars and Amazon rain frogs are aligned. Such is the case quite often with telephone conversations with my mother. Somehow we don’t speak the same language, or don’t hear each other, or worse yet, we assume the other person understands when in fact the other person is clueless.

This past Saturday I had to attend a meeting for a fundraising event. The meeting was at Peg Leg’s, a very popular eating joint on Pensacola Beach. The attendees were in the middle of brainstorming when my cell phone rang. I thought it was perhaps one of the missing attendees calling with a lame excuse so I was a bit unprepared for the conversation that greeted my ears.

“Hi hon. We’re home.” It was my mom and I was clueless.

“Congratulations,” I replied. I didn’t have a clue where they were home from or why I should be contacted about their arrival.

“We just wanted to let you know we’re back,” she informed me.

“Ok. Thanks for letting me know.” I was used to the bizarre telephone conversations so didn’t think anymore about it. The meeting continued to its conclusion. I returned to my home. I did not call my mother to inform her of my arrival.

I had awakened that morning with a headache so when I got home I lay down for a bit in hopes of making the headache disappear. I had just begun to relax when once again my cell phone rang.

“Hi hun. Since the kids didn’t come to see us we were wondering if we could come up and see them.” It was my father on the phone this time, but that didn’t matter. I was just as clueless about this conversation as I was about the one with my mother.

I was unnaturally quiet, as his words caught me by surprise. “Sure you can come up, but there aren’t any kids here. Who are you talking about?” I was totally confused.

“Daniel and Devin,” he said.

“They aren’t here Dad.”

“Well they called and said they were coming down to see us.”

“I don’t know anything about it.” I was getting more confused with each word he spoke.

“When they called we told them we had to go to town but wouldn’t be long. Mom called you when we got back.”

The proverbial light bulb lit brightly over my head. “Dad. I was at a meeting at the beach when Mom called. I didn’t know why she was calling and thought it a bit strange. But then I have strange conversations with her all the time.”

“I guess the kids thought we weren’t coming home. Does Daniel have a cell phone?” I gave him the number. He called Daniel and handed the other phone to Mom. I thought finally I had the mystery of at least one strange phone call resolved. We said good-bye and I didn’t think about it again.

Sunday rolled around and late in the afternoon Daniel my son, and Devin my grandson stopped by for a few minutes. I asked Daniel if his grandfather had called him and began to explain the strange conversation of Saturday. He replied that yes, his grandfather had called and he was confused. Daniel said he had not called his grandparents nor had he said anything to them about going to visit and knew nothing about their trip to town or arrival back home. Devin jumped in to the conversation and told both Daniel and I that he had made the call to his grandparents. He thought his Dad would be off work early and that they could go and visit my parents for a little while before they went home.

Now that the last piece of the conversation was revealed we were beginning to be unconfused. I’m not assuming anything here, but it appears that there was a lot of assuming in each of the telephone conversations. It may not have made asses out of us, but it came mighty close. I’m still not going to ask for clarification of anything in the conversations with my parents. I enjoy them more when they are mysterious and I am used to living in a state of confusion. It’s my comfort zone.

2008 Wanda M. Argersinger