I know that the price of the daily newspaper has risen in the past few years, but for the small sum of 50¢ a person can still

I know that the price of the daily newspaper has risen in the past few years, but for the small sum of 50¢ a person can still purchase a newspaper and have it all to themselves. Well, they can if they read the paper in the privacy of their own home, or have the determination to just say no.

I often take the paper or other material with me when I go to the doctor or any other place where I might find myself in a waiting situation. I am not one who wants to re-read the magazines from 1979. I prefer my news a little more current. After I sign in and let my presence be known to those who work for my physician, I settle in and begin to read the literature I have with me.

In the case of my newspaper, I am a creature of habit. I want to read it from front to back, word by word, section by section. I follow one column to the end and then begin another. DO NOT take the sections apart and then try to return them believing that I will not notice it has been touched. DO NOT lean over my shoulder and try to read the same words as I read them. DO NOT ask if it is okay to borrow my paper. It is NOT okay with me. Why is it that those who do not purchase a paper believe that those who do have an obligation to share?

It never fails. No matter what time of day I visit my physician, there is some nosy news body, who just has to read the paper, my paper. They are bold, brazen, newspaper scrounging, people who want to know what is in the paper but are unwilling to purchase one of their own. They will not subscribe to the paper nor will they purchase one from the news stand. But they do not mind trying in every manner possible to get mine away from me.

Once they see the paper in my hand, all semblance of decency leaves their body. Some of these news scroungers will ask before they try to nab my paper. They say things such as, ‘Do you mind if I read the __________ ‘(fill in the blank with whatever section you want. I have heard them all) section of the paper? ‘Can I read that when you are done with it? ‘If you are done with that, and then follow it with a million different words, all in an effort to get their hands on my paper. Some are very wily and realize that I am not going to part with my paper so they try to get me to share the news with them verbally using phrases such as, ‘I didn’t know ____________ (fill in the blank with any news item you can think of. It is probably in the paper today.) Or they contort themselves in an attempt to read the front side of whatever page I am reading.

My answer is always the same. Well, the words may be different, but the meaning is the same. Yes, I do mind. No, you can not read my paper when I am finished with it. I am not done with it and I won’t be any time soon.

On occasion I even suggest they part with the cost of a paper purchase their own. By the reactions I receive you would think that I had suggested they take their families and spend the summer in the desert of a poverty stricken country hunting bugs for their dinner. When someone tries to get me to share the words I have read, I am practiced at ignoring them until they go away. For contortionists, I respond by allowing them to read a sentence or two and then fold the section away or move to another seat. Either of these actions on my part elicits the same response from them, usually in the form of a hhhmmmph noise.

On the weekend I often take MY paper and head to the local Waffle House for breakfast. I set the paper beside me and before I can even glance at the headlines some newspaper scrounger tries to nab it. Often they are so bold they don’t even ask. They simply reach out and take a section or two. My first reaction is to slap their hand and tell them to leave my stuff alone. I have often thought of stabbing them with my fork. But I don’t usually follow my first reactions. I just glare at them until they return the paper and slink away from me to another booth. If the scroungers are brave enough to ask, I reply with a simple NO, it s mine. They don’t normally ask again. They do give me a look of death.

Why is it that I am the one who paid for the newspaper and yet I am treated as though I am doing something wrong? As if by virtue of the fact that I have a paper and they don’t, that I am obligated to share? Here and now I want the world to know, I am an adult. I paid for this newspaper, so until I abandon it, it is mine. I am not in kindergarten. I will not be graded on how well I share and/or play with others. I DO NOT have to share with you. BUY YOUR OWN paper and leave me in peace to read the words I’ve paid for.

2006 Wanda M. Argersinger